


The Sound of an Angel

by kickcows



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, M/M, Mentions of Iron Dad and Spider Son, mentions of stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24647215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/pseuds/kickcows
Summary: It’s been a few months since the second Snap brought everyone back, and life is tough to adjust to for most of the surviving Avengers. Bucky is having a difficult time without Steve around, and discovers that he’s not the only one missing someone close to them.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Peter Parker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 115
Collections: Starker and More Discord Challenges





	The Sound of an Angel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iamtherealbork](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamtherealbork/gifts).



> This was written as a prompt challenge over on the Starker & More Discord. Please enjoy!

* * *

Slamming his locker shut, Bucky leans against the cool metal as he tries to remember to practice his breathing. In for five counts, out for five counts. He takes one deep breath, then exhales for the right amount of time, but then forgets to do it again. His right hand curled into a fist, trying to will away the anger and sadness he’s beginning to feel. 

“You okay, Barnes?” He turns to look at Rhodes, who’d been on the mission with him, watching him from the entrance of the locker room. 

“Not really.” Steve had told him before to be honest with his teammates. “That wasn’t a very good performance. I’m sorry.” 

“Hey, don’t sweat it.” Rhodes walks over to him, and pats him on the shoulder. He flinches, pulling away from the friendly contact, not at all in the mood for it. “We all have our bad days. But that’s what they are, right? Days. That’s it.” 

Bucky knows the man means well, but he hadn’t been the one to freeze when faced with a confrontation. In fact, Rhodes had stepped in to diffuse it, something that he should have been able to do. He would have, if Steve had been with him on this mission. But Steve is gone now - taking the chance to live a long full life that he deserved. _Except he left me behind. So much for the end of the line_. These missions with the Avengers are helping to keep him busy, keep him active, but at what cost? He can’t keep making rookie mistakes when he knows better. 

He nods his head. “Right. Days. A few hours. There’s always tomorrow.” 

“Exactly. There’s always tomorrow.” Rhodes nodded his head. “Listen, I’m going to take off. You gonna be okay?” 

“I’m good.” Bucky gives him an affirmative nod, then looks out the window. “Might go for a jog.” Steve always said that helped clear his mind whenever he was having trouble with something. 

“It’s a nice night out. See you soon.” Rhodes raises his hand as a farewell, to which Bucky gives a little wave of his own. 

Heading to his room, he grabs a pair of sweats and a shirt and heads out of the compound from the back. As he stretches, he thinks he hears something, but then it fades away. Thinking nothing of it, he begins to jog towards the perimeter of the compound, and lets his mind wander as he runs. It feels good to get his muscles moving, doing the things he wants them to be doing, instead of freezing up like he had during their mission. One step forward, and two steps back. That’s what it feels like with Steve now gone. Every time he makes progress on one aspect of his teamwork, another two fall through the cracks. He wonders if maybe he should just go back under for a bit longer, but then that isn’t something that Steve would have agreed to. 

He returns to the compound and hears that noise again. This time it comes through a lot more clearly - someone is singing. He looks around, and sees no one in the immediate area, which makes him think that maybe he’s hearing things. It wouldn’t be the first time that his mind has played tricks on him. Had it done something like this before? No. But there was a first for everything. Instead of panicking, though, he listened to the dulcet tones ring through the courtyard. 

“Stars shining bright above you….” 

He _knows_ this song. It was a song that was played often at the RAF dances in London, the girls always wanting a dance with him. It causes him to pause, as he hadn’t thought of this song in years, and hearing it now being sung by such an angelic voice makes him question his own sanity. But as the song continues on, he knows he’s not just hearing things, as they sing it all the way through. By the end of the song, there are tears streaming down his face, which he quickly wipes away with his right hand. Looking up at the sky, he thinks about the last dance hall that he and Steve had gone to, Steve patiently sitting at the bar while he danced for a few hours. Those had been the days. 

With a soft sigh, he returns inside, keeping his head down as he walks. No one needs to see his tear streaked face, least of all himself. The run had been just what he needed, but the song? The song has put him into a melancholic mood, making him remember days that he hasn’t thought about in years. And _that_ might be worse than his mess up this afternoon. 

***

The next mission he goes out on, he’s paired with Sam, Wanda and Peter. Peter seems to be doing about as good as himself these days, which is saying a lot. He knows that he had a rough time over in Europe a couple of months ago, and is clearly still dealing with the aftermath. They _all_ are dealing with the aftermath of what happened with Thanos in more ways than one. On this mission he keeps it together, which is more than he can say for Peter. It was almost like watching a mirror, seeing the same mistakes he’d made before happening again, but instead of freezing up, he helps Peter get out of it and the mission goes successfully. 

Riding on the Quinjet back to the compound, he looks over at Peter, but notices he’s got his eyes closed. Fair enough. If he doesn’t feel like talking with his teammates, then who is he to interfere. No one ever wants to talk to him, so he stays quiet and listens to Sam and Wanda have a discussion about what they plan on eating when they get back to base. 

“Thanks.” Bucky looks over at where Peter is sitting, eyes still closed with his head pointed towards the wall. “I appreciate your assist out there.” 

“It’s no problem.” He shrugs his shoulder. He remembers the time when he’d first fought with Peter - the incredible strength of his matched his own, so he knew how to deal with it. “You’d do the same.” 

“I’m trying.” 

“We’re all trying, Parker.” 

“Right.” 

Bucky leaves it at that, returning to his own thoughts as he now tunes out Sam’s voice still talking to Wanda about something ridiculous now. He knows Peter’s hurting for his own reasons, and won’t intrude on those thoughts. There was a time and a place for that, and right now is not that time. Missions will get easier. That much is a fact, and is one of the reasons he’s able to keep going. Because he knows that with time, the pain will fade. 

Instead of joining the others for a meal, he grabs his clothes to go run again. It’s become a habit now the last couple of weeks. After practice. After training. Any excuse to go and run the perimeter, he takes. Some nights, he hears someone singing but can never find where it’s coming from. A few times he hears a guitar accompanying them, but mostly it’s a capella. The guitar is nice - Bucky really likes when he hears them play as it provides a sense of comfort that he latches on to. 

The disembodied voice is present when he returns from his run, this time the tune returning to another melancholy song. The guitar riff starts off quiet, creating an eerie sort of melody. “A heart that's full up like a landfill, a job that slowly kills you, bruises that won't heal….” 

Again, by the end of the song there are tracks of tears strolling down his cheeks. If only he could find this person - find them and let them know that they’re not alone, because it sure sounds like they feel like they are. And if anyone can relate, it’s himself. With his time here at the compound, he’s learned that he’s not alone - he never has to feel alone again with his newfound family. 

Or so he tells himself. 

Back in the sanctuary of his own room, his eyes fall onto a picture of him and Steve, with their arms thrown around each other. “Wish you hadn’t gone.” He touches the frame, then looks out his window, the darkness inviting. But he’s just returned from there, and has no plans on going out again. Grabbing his towel, he heads to his bathroom to get cleaned up. 

***

A week later he hears the person singing another melancholic song, which brings a strange ache to his chest. Determined to find this person, Bucky sets off on his own personal mission. He checks the area where the music is coming from, thankful that they’ve chosen to play the guitar again, as the music keeps going after the singing stops. It’s then that he realizes he’s been looking in the wrong places. 

Glancing up, he sees a shadow on top of the building, but can’t see who it is from down below. He heads back into the compound, and heads for the stairs that will take him out to the roof. He wonders who he’s going to find up here - because right now, he has absolutely no clue who has been singing and playing. No one that he works with could ever sound like that. It had to be a new trainee. That’s the only logical answer. 

His hand freezes on the metal bar that will open the door to the roof. It’s clear this person doesn’t want to be found, otherwise they would be singing and playing in the common area, or even out on the ground level. Is he being selfish because he wants to know who this person is, because he wants to help them? Tell them that it’s okay? What if they don’t want that. _He_ never wanted to hear those things, not from any of his teammates - _especially_ Steve. But then he remembers that most of the songs that are sung are more on the sad side, and he doesn’t want them to feel like they’re alone. 

Bucky pushes on the bar, and steps outside. The guitar music stops instantly, and he sees someone scramble to stand up. “Wait!” He calls out, hoping that will be enough to stop them. This person could have some special ability - hell, they all have their own unique gifts which is why they were Avengers. He still doesn’t feel like one himself, but that’s not important right now. What’s important is making sure this person doesn’t flee. “Don’t go - I’m not here to tell you to stop.” 

“How did you find me?” 

He blinks a few times, then narrows his eyes as the shadow becomes clear. It’s Peter Parker. He did _not_ think it would be him. “I looked up.” 

“You haven’t been looking up, though.” 

Smirking, he starts to walk to where Peter was standing, holding his guitar tucked under his arm. “Have you been watching me?” 

“What? No? No.” Peter shakes his head, but even in dark he can see there’s a blush on his cheeks. “No, I haven’t been watching you. I knew you were down there, though. Listening. To me, right?” 

“No, I was listening to the owls.” He rolls his eyes, and sees there’s a bench out here on the roof. He takes a seat, then looks at Peter. “Are you upset that I’m out here?” 

Peter sits down, putting his guitar down between them. “No. You can be wherever you want.” 

“You have a beautiful voice.” Wanting to put Peter at ease, Bucky decides to compliment him. “I don’t know most of the songs you sing, but I know good music when I hear it. And your voice and playing qualify as good music.” 

“T-Thanks.” 

Bucky looks out at the forest, his hands resting on his thighs. “I wanted to find who was singing because I know what it feels like to be in pain. And it’s clear that you’re in pain.” 

“It’s been a rough few months.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

He doesn’t expect Peter to take him literally, but two seconds later his attention is turning towards him as he begins speaking. “Tony’s gone. People know who I am. I _never_ wanted any of this. This wasn’t supposed to be my life!” 

“I know that feeling.” Bucky speaks quietly, as he turns to look at his left arm. “So we’ve been dealt a bum hand. We’re still here, unlike Tony, or Steve, or Romanoff.” He knows that Peter liked Natasha, and knows that her death was another painful one for all of them. “You know they don’t want us to be like this.” 

“Which is why I was hiding.” Peter drops back down on the bench, after pacing for a bit. “No one was supposed to be listening to me. I get through my sadness through my music.” He picks up the guitar, and begins to strum a few chords, Bucky closing his eyes to listen. “My aunt used to sing to me when I was sad or scared. So it’s become a way for me to reconnect with her when I’m feeling both of those emotions. Sometimes at the same time.” 

The music continues for a little while, Bucky keeping quiet to listen. “You may not have wanted this life, but this is the one you’ve got. I know I didn’t want this.” He holds his arm up. “I never wanted to be an agent for Hydra. I get sick to my stomach every time I think about all the horrible things I’ve done.” 

“But they weren’t you.” Peter shakes his head. “I’ve seen the files. You aren’t him.” 

“Who? The Winter Soldier? Yes, I am.” It had taken him a long time to accept that he is the same person capable of doing horrible things. “I’m also Bucky Barnes. We’re the same.” He looks down at his metal hand. “But I’ve learned to accept that. I know things are different now, but there’s a part of me that’s afraid I’ll be conditioned again to do something I don’t want to do.” 

A hand covered his metal one, Peter now sitting right next to him on the bench, his guitar now leaning up against it. “We’re here for you, Bucky. None of us will let that happen to you.” 

“And we won’t let anyone hurt you.” He turns to look at Peter - really look at him underneath the light of the moon. There is so much _pain_ in his eyes, too much for a person his age. “You are unique and special, and you are where you’re supposed to be. This pain?” He brings his other hand up to Peter’s chest, and taps his finger near where his heart is. “That helps you remember that you’re alive. That their sacrifices weren’t in vain.” 

“Is it ever going to stop hurting?” Peter sounds _exhausted_ , and Bucky hates that he knows that same exact pain himself. “Because I don’t like this pain.” 

“No. But it’ll get easier. It might not feel like that right now, but it will. Trust me.” 

He pulls Peters into a hug, hoping that he won’t flinch away, as he knows that would be his first reaction if someone had done this to him. But he feels Peter sink against him, and holds him in a tight embrace. He listened to Peter cry, offering no words of comfort but kept his silence as he let him sob against him. His own eyes grew a little watery, as he finally understands the meaning of companionship, and what it meant to be on a team with people that trust you. He knows that Peter will always have his six, and he will always have his. 

“We’re a lot alike.” Bucky keeps his arms around him, hoping that Peter doesn’t mind the metal too much. But it seems like it’s not bothering him, as he continues to cling to him. “And I don’t want you to have to go through any of this alone. When you want to sing sad songs, come find me. We’ll sing something happy together instead.” 

Brown eyes stare up at him, Peter’s cheeks covered in tears. “R-Really? Can you sing?” 

“Maybe not well, but I’d be willing to try.” He put his right hand on Peter’s face, and stroked his cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Try to remember the living. I know it’s difficult right now, but there are good things around you. I promise.” 

“Like you?” 

“I’m not something good.” Shaking his head, a sad smile crosses his face. “Maybe I will be one day, but not now.” 

“You are, though.” The hands on his shirt grip a little tighter, as Peter continues to look at him a way that makes the breath stop in his chest. “I know you are, Bucky.” 

Rather than reply with a thank you, he lowers his head and brushes his lips against Peter’s. The soft, pliant lips yield under his and return the kiss with questionable hesitancy. Bucky keeps the kiss chaste, but then he feels Peter’s lips part for him and with the silent invitation he pushes his tongue into his mouth and offers him something he had always longed for - mutuality. And as Peter’s tongue caressed his, he knows it’s the same for him. 

Peter pulls away, then grabs his guitar. “Sing with me?” 

“Sure.” He tries not to stare at his kiss swollen lips, but instead focuses on the way his hand picks up the guitar pick. “How about ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’?” 

“You know that song??” 

Smirking, he nods his head. “That song came out when I was younger than you.” Reaching over with his metal hand, he put his hand on Peter’s knee, wanting to touch him somehow, someway. He looks up at the sky. “Think they’d be okay with this?” 

“Yeah, I do.” Peter looks at him, the smile on his face bringing one to his own lips. “Ready?” 

Peter starts to play, and he moves to sit closer to him as he begins to sing softly. “Star shining bright above you….Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"... Birds singing in the sycamore tree….Dream a little dream of me…” 

By the end of the song, Peter had joined him in harmony on the chorus, their voices echoing across the compound as they sang for their loved ones no longer with them. Tony. May. Steve. Natasha. There would be more as the years go on, but that isn’t something they need to worry about right now. What matters is that they have each other. 

“Let’s watch the sun rise together?” Peter asks, as he sets the guitar down, and crawls onto Bucky’s lap. 

Bucky puts both of his arms around Peter, and nods his head. “Sounds perfect, Pete.” 

And it was. Absolutely perfect. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys want to check out our Discord, here's a [link](https://discord.gg/) to it! Thanks for reading! :) 
> 
> Songs Referenced: 
> 
> [Dream A Little Dream of Me](https://youtu.be/h7j8wa9sWOE)  
> [No Surprises](https://youtu.be/u5CVsCnxyXg)


End file.
